Wondering
by CocaCola43
Summary: Kurama gets to wondering about Hiei's...manhood. One-shot, rated for sexual innuendo.


A/N: This is a one-shot I thought up while being lectured in English. Yes, just gets the creative juices flowing, doesn't it? I was trying to tune out the sound of the teacher's voice. -.-;; Maybe it didn't work out so well.

Pairings: Kurama/Hiei

Warnings: Some light to medium sexual innuendo. Yup, that's right.

Rated: R for some sexual innuendo.

**Wondering**

**By CocaCola43**

Stuck waiting in line for the men's bathroom, Kurama sighed and glanced at the head of the line. It seemed miles away from him, and he needed to go – bad. **_Real_** bad.

_Badly_, he corrected himself. _Badly_. The adverb. But this was no time for meticulous grammar. This was war. A war against the idiots who'd somehow managed to clog all the toilets in the movie theatre but one. And here it was. He regretted buying so much soda now, but cherry coke was a treat. He rarely had any soda at home, and at school they drank beer or water. The only soda machine had been kicked so hard there was a dent in the front and it took hours for the soda bottle to squeeze through its now considerably shrunken tunnel. Hours…usually it was a waste of money.

The men in front on him looked angry. They hadn't paid this much money for movie tickets to miss the movie, they raged. "It's torture on my penis," someone grumbled.

Kurama winced at the sound of the word. Did they have to be so…direct? But indeed, his bladder was feeling a bit…full. And he had to get back to the movie theatre soon, or else Hiei would come find him. The last thing he needed was for the koorime to get angry. His jacket was made of a highly flammable material.

The toilet flushed, and a man came out. The line inched forward. Kurama sighed. The waiting was interminable.

"Hey…why don't we use the urinals?" someone asked.

Bright idea. The line thinned considerably as the men went to use the urinals, which until now had been unused. What idiots. Kurama's turn arrived, and he went happily.

Coming out of the bathroom, Kurama walked back to the theatre. Hiei had chosen to see a very violent 'R' rated movie, and Kurama had had to accompany him because the ticket seller couldn't possibly even BEGIN to suspect that Hiei was over seventeen. And then her mousy red wig would have caught fire.

He opened the door to the theatre and winced at the sound of a gunshot emitting from the loudspeakers. Someone was shooting someone else – he'd been gone too long now to even hope of catching up to the plot.

"How's the movie?" he asked amiably. Hiei's red eyes were fixed to the screen.

"Hn." The koorime took a bite of his ice cream. The gallon was almost gone now.

"Are you sure you don't have to go to the bathroom? There's no line now," Kurama continued, eying his friend carefully.

"Hn."

Ah. Perhaps he didn't have to after all.

Or did he? Was he able to? Did Hiei have a…that? Did he excrete waste in the same way humans did?

Of course, he assured himself. He had to. How else could he…excrete…waste?

But…what if he didn't?

"Hiei," he hissed, poking the fire demon's shoulder. "Hiei." The fire demon paid him no mind. "Hiei!"

Crimson eyes met his green ones. "What?" Hiei asked, annoyed.

"Do you have to go to the bathroom?"

"No." And with that he continued staring at the screen. A woman was screaming now – most likely her lover had just been shot by the serial killer. The kitsune had just made him miss the best part.

"Hiei!"

"WHAT?"

"Could you…come with me?"

The koorime glanced at the screen. A romantic scene between the woman and her dying lover. He could risk it. "Hn."

Safely out of the movie theatre, Kurama guided the koorime to the men's bathroom. He could safely ask the question in there. The line was gone now, and it was empty.

"What do you want to tell me, kitsune?"

"I was just wondering…" Kurama glanced at the door of the bathroom. Could anyone come in? No, they had already gone. "Come with me."

They entered one of the handicapped stalls. Kurama shut the door.

"May I ask, kitsune, just what we are doing in here? This contraption reeks of human waste." Hiei glared at the clogged toilet menacingly.

"I just wanted to ask," Kurama began, "how you…go."

"Go." Hiei turned his death glare on Kurama. "Go where."

"Go…to the bathroom. Excrete waste."

Silence. Complete silence. He could almost hear the nonexistant crickets chirping.

"Of course," he said hastily, "if you don't want to tell me…"

Hiei pulled down his pants. That was unexpected, but he could go with it. "This," he said with unusual patience, pointing, "is what I use to, as humans call it, pee. This," he turned around, "is what I use to, ahem, poo. Has your infernal curiosity been satiated now?" Hiei turned to face the kitsune.

Kurama stared. His green eyes were wide.

"What?" Hiei asked, annoyed for the second time.

"You're…so…" Kurama's mouth cracked into a stiff smile. "…**small**."

"Excuse me?"

"Note," Kurama said, and he pulled down his own pants. "This," he pointed, "is what _I _use to urinate."

It was significantly larger than Hiei's.

The hue of Hiei's cheeks darkened until they were the same color as his eyes. "Well," he muttered, "**_size_ **doesn't matter."

That was an egregious mistake. His words could have been taken two ways.

Kurama brightened. Obviously he had taken it the wrong way. "So if size doesn't matter…" he said, his tone seductive.

Hiei paled.

"Are…you…_serious_? **_HERE_**?"

"Oh, Hiei!" Kurama embraced the koorime.

"Hn."

"Kiss me, my fountain of passion, my cheesecake, my strawberry."

Hiei complied.

They missed the rest of the movie.

A/N: The end… Leave a review? Please?


End file.
